So, I’m a sucker for New Year’s Resolutions. As an
academic, I usually make them twice a year—on January 1st, like
“normal” people, and again on September 1st, with the beginning of
the new academic year. The resolutions I make at the start of September often
have to do with my academic achievements and work ethic; while these figure in
my January resolutions, I try to add the “life improvements” resolutions to
this list as well.
As usual, my list is ambitious, unrealistic and
unoriginal: manage my time more effectively; be more courteous to others,
especially as a listener; don’t let the little things upset me; eat more
healthily; work out more consistently; be a more enthusiastic and engaged
instructor; stop procrastinating; get back to writing fiction; read more books
for fun. (Naturally I’m most excited by the last one on that list.)
But I can’t help myself. I like to reinvent and improve
myself, even when I know that these goals are a constant struggle to maintain. But
I also love making lists. I make to-do lists, grocery lists, book lists, move
lists, lists of achievements, lists of failures, pro and con lists, and, as you
are witnessing in this essay, lists of lists. I have a notepad for making lists
and at the bottom it says, “Make a list—you’ll feel better.” If nothing else,
making lists makes you feel in control, even if that’s a false sense of
satisfaction.
I am also very meticulous about my lists. I joke that
lists are where the Virgo in me really comes out. Not only do I like to make
lots of lists, I organize my lists with categories and subcategories. I like to
make my grocery lists in order of how the food is laid out in the grocery store
that we go to every week. What—you don’t do that? For Christmas shopping this
year, I created an Excel spreadsheet to make sure I had all the recipients and
their gifts listed. I have no doubt this list will prove invaluable in ten
months’ time.
But back to resolutions! Resolutions are a neat and
orderly list of things I wish to achieve, however esoteric, abstract or
concrete. The key to effective goal-setting is, of course, to make a second list that describes what you will
do in your life to achieve these goals (I think I read that in a book or Good Housekeeping, which mysteriously
keeps being sent to my house). For example, for my resolution of working out
more consistently, I will promise myself to work out 4-5 times a week minimum, with roller derby twice a week,
gym twice a week, and, once the weather gets nicer, running twice a week. In
order to get fitter, I plan on using a fitness journal to mark my progress and
make sure I’m upping the weight on the machines every month.
The problem with this method is once you get to the more
abstract resolutions. For example—how do I break my bad habit of interrupting
people and, in general, being a bad listener? How do I “manage my time better”
(aside from making more lists)? How do I commit to “not letting the little
things get to me” or “being a more enthusiastic instructor”? The only way to do
that is to remind myself as often as possible about these things. My original
idea was to write myself reminders of these goals in my day planner and on a
sheet of paper by my bed—but then I put that off.
I suppose in the end it doesn’t matter if you break your
resolutions, as long as you don’t break your resolve. I’m not a fan of
self-help books, so I’ll leave the pep talk for someone else. As far as I’m
concerned, I’ll keep making and re-making myself as often as I can—that’s one
resolution I know I’ll keep. And when that fails, I’ll make a list…and I’ll
feel better.
[Try not to notice that I already broke resolution #37,
post to blog every week….]
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